


Spinning Sunshine into Straw

by Firekitten



Category: RWBY
Genre: Gen, This family is little and broken, but still good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 05:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15599460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Firekitten/pseuds/Firekitten
Summary: Every day, Tai wakes up, trying to be the best father and brother he can be.Every day, he faces the reality he’s failing.





	Spinning Sunshine into Straw

**Author's Note:**

> What started out as just a funny, little snippet of a scene in my head turned into an introspective look at depression and the many ways it affects the mind, body and emotional stability of a person. 
> 
> In short, I spent 6,000 words putting my favorite character through hell. Enjoy 8D

 

**BWEEP. BWEEP. BWEEP.**

The sharp blares of the alarm clock beat at the skull of the bed’s only occupant like a jackhammer. A groan, a fumbling hand emerging from the confines of the blankets only to slam down on the off button. Sweet silence, as precious as gold, overtook the room. The man gave a contented hum, curling back into his sanctuary as he teetered back to the edges of sleep.

He almost made it over, when his bedroom door slammed open.

“Rise and shine, sunshine!” Qrow bellowed, stumbling in on uncertain feet. He smelled like a brewery and the circles under his eyes told of another all-nighter pulled. The third one this week.

Tai grumbled intelligibly, pulling the sheets over his head.

"If you don't get up, I'll pour this over you."

He pulled the blankets down, just enough to peek suspiciously at the glass of clear liquid. "What is it?" The blanket monster mumbled.

"Dunno,” Qrow sniffed it, nose wrinkling, “But it smells rancid."

Tai finally unearthed himself enough to take the glass from him and get a good whiff, only to jerk back at the sour, acidic tang that left his tongue curling. "Qrow. That's vinegar."

"Oh." He took it back, eyeing it thoughtfully. "...Does it have alcohol?"

"No!"

"Oh." Qrow continued to eye it then shrugged, taking a sip. Tai gave a garbled noise of disgusted horror, shoving his face back into his pillow. "Anyways!" His brother continued, turning back for the hall, false cheer still in his tone, "If you don't want a poisoned breakfast, you'd better get up!"

He groaned in answer, hearing the heavy footsteps fade away. His door was left open, a guaranteed promise that the next entrant would be Yang if he decided to ignore all threats and fall back into dreamland. He stared at the back of his eyelids as long as he dared, debating on if the few minutes were worth it.

“Waah!”

Tai lifted his head, sighing in defeat and reluctantly pulling himself out of bed. He shuffled his way to his daughters’ room, following the gentle wails. As he walked in, he discovered Yang was already perched on her little kid chair, stretching on her tiptoes as she tried to peer in at her little sister.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry.” She was saying, clinging onto the railing of the crib.

Tai stepped over, patting down some of his daughter’s golden curls. “I got her lil’ dragon.”

She watched him as he lifted her from her crib, declaring knowingly, “She needs berries!”

“You’re right.” He told her as he lifted his wiggling, almost two-year old close. The second smell he got a good whiff of today was certainly not pleasant either. “And a new diaper.”

“Kay!” Yang hopped down, dragging the small chair behind her to the changing table. She saluted him. “Deputy Yang, ‘porting for duty!”

Tai laid Ruby down, saluting her back. “Glad to have your help, deputy. We’ve got a smelly mess on our hands! First order, get the wipes!”

She giggled behind her hands as she did as she was told, carefully plopping the package down. “First border done!” Almost four now, her speech was getting clearer by the day, but she still had trouble remembering certain words.

“Order, honey.” He repeated carefully, pulling off the dirtied diaper. “Hold your nose now!” Yang pinched it, puffing out her cheeks exaggeratedly like she thought that would help as he disposed of the diaper.

Ruby was wiggling and kicking her legs, garbling out, “Icky, icky!”

“I know, sweetie. Another minute okay?” Tai said, soothingly, as he got a wipe. She made a few more discontented noises even as he cleaned her. He side-eyed his other daughter. “Deputy, what do I need next?”

“Butt blanket!” Yang said, producing the item proudly.

He cracked a smile, taking it from her hands. “What’s it really called?”

“Diaper!”

“Good girl.” He looked down at his other daughter, seeing her doing a rather good impression of her sister just a few minutes ago, her cheeks puffed like a squirrel. “Oh, and what’s with that look, miss pouty pants?” She was getting less patient with them the older she got. In fact, her second birthday was only three weeks away. He knew he really should start potty training her. Yang had been even younger when he and… when _he_ had started hers.

But it, like many other things, just seemed to keep falling to the wayside.         

“She’s temper-Ental ‘cause we need to prevent the ash!” Yang said.

“Oh, that’s right. We don’t want a rash.” He agreed. “Ready the wind storm!”

His elder daughter picked up the paper fan she kept nearby, opening it up and revealing the colorful butterflies. “Ready!”

He placed his hand gently over hers. “And blow!” They started to wave their hands together, making whooshing sounds with their mouths.

Ruby giggled, clapping her hands. When she was sufficiently ‘dried’, Taiyang slipped the diaper onto her, before pulling her up into his arms. “All done. You want to walk?”

“No!” She declared. He was pretty sure it was entirely because she wanted to hold onto the top button of his nightshirt.

“Alright, you mooch. Let’s all get some breakfast.” He looked back, making sure his eldest was putting her chair back where it belonged, before she trotted after him. As they approached the stairs, he nodded to Yang, “Show us your leap frog.”

She grinned, bending her legs and wiggling her butt, hopping her way down each and every step, “Ribbit! Ribbit!” She loudly croaked with each successful land.

He followed behind her, keeping a close eye to make sure she didn’t fall. Once they made it to ground level, she zoomed straight for the kitchen, shouting loudly to the room’s only other occupant. “G’morning uncle Qrow!”

“Morning, firecracker. Trying to be as noisy as one today too?”

“Yeah!”

The moment Tai walked in, he could instantly tell his brother was already overwhelmed by Yang’s typical explosion of energy.

Still, he made an effort – a little easier by the fact he was still coming off his drunkenness. “Ah, there’s my nosy rosy!” Qrow caught Ruby’s nose between his fingers, making her laugh. Dusky eyes glanced up at him next. “Made toast and tea, if you want it.”

“Thanks.” Tai responded, allowing the man to sweep up the infant into his arms. She traded her button for the cross, biting on it. “Will you feed her?”

“Sure.”

As he crossed the kitchen, he called to his other daughter, “Want your snowflakes?”

“Yes!”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, pleeease!” Yang said, stretching it out much like she herself was as she flopped belly-down onto one of the kitchen chairs, holding out her hands and legs as if she wanted to be an airplane.

Tai filled a small bowl with the sugary cereal and milk, finding one of the colorful plastic spoons and setting it down before his eldest daughter. He poured a second, smaller cup of just the dry flakes for his other daughter and set it on her highchair, but for the most part, it went ignored, Ruby too enamored with the plucked strawberries her uncle kept giving her. She would eat them in droves and without fuss, which made mornings just a little easier.

Not one to let food go to waste even if his appetite was shot to hell, Tai nibbled on the toast, glad for the blandness. The tea went down easier, though it incited some uncomfortable fluttering in his stomach. Mostly, he kept an eye on his family. Praised Ruby for trying to ask for more food. Ordered Yang to stop pulling out the flakes with her hands and use her utensils like a big girl. Observed the room to be certain Qrow’s semblance didn’t do something unforetold.

By the time he was back upstairs and getting ready for work, the short morning had already dragged him into exhaustion that he was certain would stick to him the rest of the day. He lent heavily against the counter as he combed through his hair, a few tangles here and there pulling at his scalp painfully. He pat down at the ever-present cowlick with one hand while his other reached blindly for his toothbrush. His fingers curled around the plastic and he pulled it over to the sink.

It wasn’t until he went to turn on the water that he realized he had grabbed the wrong one.

He stared down at the toothbrush – white with a red, rubber grip – the faint waves of anxiety that had been beating a gentle, consistent rhythm through his intestines suddenly swelling with violent fervor. It was similar to the feeling of stage fright, leaving his knees weak and his chest tight. But unlike it, this feeling didn’t simply go away after the curtains were drawn; it was a constant discomfort, waiting for any excuse to storm through him. And with it, his emotions – usually so well in check – always went a little haywire.

It was a wonder he hadn’t drawn every Grimm on the island to his home by now.

“You’re getting emotional over a toothbrush Tai.” He whispered to himself, hating the cracking in his voice. “Isn’t that stupid?”

He shut his eyes, taking a few deep, slow breathes. It was the only countermeasure he had found that helped ease some of the tension in his stomach, no matter how minimal the difference.

Tai had just started to get ahold of himself again, when he heard a faint call from his bedroom. “Dad?”

He jolted, throwing the toothbrush into the medicine cabinet where he couldn’t see it anymore, and rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyes. “Yeah, Yang?”

Her little feet pattered to the door. “Can you do my hair?”

He turned to her with a smile that was probably about as fake as his composure. “Sure honey. Pigtails?”

“No. I wanna be a horsie today.”

“You got it.” He took the glittery purple hairbrush from her, sitting himself on the edge of the tub as she plopped herself down onto the rug, carefully making his way through her flowing curls. Once his job was done and her hair was carefully secured in her favorite scrunchie – purple just like her brush – he allowed her to tromp around and neigh like a pony while he finished getting ready.

He was just tying up the last knot on his boots when he heard the noise of conversation downstairs. One voice was Qrow’s. The other was higher in pitch, definitely feminine.

“Looks like – _oof!_ ” He grunted as Yang threw all forty-pounds of herself at his back. “Rebecca’s here. Don’t you want to show her how good of a horse you are?”

His shirt bunched up where little fistfuls grasped at it. “No.”

“No?”

“No.” She repeated. “I don’t like Becca.”

“What? But I thought she sang the best songs, remember?”

Yang shook her head. “Don’t like her!”

Tai sighed, turning just enough so he could undo his yellow leech, pulling his daughter up against his side. “Dragon, what’s going on? You didn’t like Cassie, or Jessica, or Ruth either. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to find anyone to hire to watch you two.”

She twiddled with her fingers, saying, “Then, can uncle Qrow watch us again?”

He brushed away her bangs that didn’t quite make it into her ponytail, saying gently, “Honey, we tried that, remember? You remember what happened, right?”

“He got burn-ded.”

“Yes, he did. Because he fell asleep making you lunch and then tried to put out the fire with a towel.” There were still a few cabinets that needed to be refinished and Qrow’s hands were still healing from where the worst of it had caused the skin to blister. Tai shook off the memory, focusing on his daughter. “He would love to watch you, but right now, he can’t. So, this is how it’s got to be.”

She looked up towards him, tiny face pinched. “Is that why you can’t too?”

“It’s… sort of like that, yes.” He slipped off the bed, sitting up on his knees so he could be face-to-face with her. “I know it stinks. And isn’t always fun. But right now, your uncle Qrow and I need some help, so that you and Ruby are taken care of while we do adult things.” He took her hands in his, saying, “When things are better, we can figure out something we’ll all like more, but until then, I need you to be big and brave like the sunny dragon I know you are. Can you do that for me?”

Though still frowning, Yang gave a hesitant nod and said. “Okay.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

He felt her arms wrap around his neck. “I love you too dad.”

Tai held her close for several long moments before he hefted her up into his arms, carrying her downstairs where he greeted the babysitter, said his goodbyes to his daughters and ordered his brother to bed, before heading off to work.

* * *

The metal creaked as the last bolt was tightened in place, holding the fuel line in place. Tai sighed, giving the underside of the car one final visual check, verifying everything was as it should be before calling to his coworker, “Alright, I’m done.”

“Good. I’ll lift her down. Take a break while I load up the next one.” Mac called.

Tai slipped out from underneath the car, pulling out the rag he had tucked against his pocket, using the side not soiled with oil to wipe away the sweat from his brow. Behind him, he heard the whirring sound of the hydraulic lift as it slowly started to lower the car, drowning out the faint noise of music from the box radio they had tucked away on one of the shelves. He turned, heading towards the break room.

And that’s when everything went wrong.

A thundering sound split the air and had him whirling around, in time to see the convertible jostle as the left lift arm didn’t lower properly. With an awful, ear-splitting screech, it snapped under the stress, and the car pitched forward, nosediving into the ground. The front bumper smashed in and the windshield shattered, glass exploding everywhere.

Tai was hardly aware of his yell of horror as he ran over. “Mac?! You alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah! Fine!” The slightly chubby man appeared around the other side of the vehicle, looking shaken. “Gods be damned, what happened?”

“I don’t-” He started to reply when the door to their boss’s office was thrown open.

“What did you two yahoos do?!” Lenny screamed upon seeing the state of his prized shop.

“I-It wasn’t us boss!” Mac tried to explain. “The lift just failed!”

“Failed?! This baby’s been working in pristine condition since the day I got it!” His boss whirled around. “This was your month to do maintenance. When’s the last time you checked it?”

Taiyang’s mouth went dry. _It was?_ “L-Last week.” He immediately lied.

His boss’s hook nose always tended to make his glares more pronounced as he ordered sharply. “My office. _Now_.”

Feeling shame pooling in his gut, he followed his boss into the room, sitting down in one of the hard, plastic chairs in front of the desk. Lenny walked behind it, but rather then take his own seat, he pulled out a cigarette, lighting up as he paced. The office was always kept rather dark to combat the heat that built up from working with heavy machinery all day. The thick curtains blocked out the sun, only a small table lamp replacing the lack of light. He’d never noticed how ominous it made the room appear.

Tai followed his boss’s movements with his eyes nervously, hands clasping together to hide their shaking. He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up big time. He’d been working as a mechanic here ever since Raven had left him and he couldn’t even _think_ of a time he had messed up so bad on the job.

Finally, Lenny blew out another cloud of smoke, sighed and turned to him. “Tai. This is the third mistake you’ve made this month.” When he opened his mouth to defend himself, Lenny rose a hand, effectively silencing him before he could make a sound. “You used to be one of my best. But you’ve been slipping up for months now. Don’t take a genius to figure out why. I can imagine just how tough it’s been. I kept trying to be patient with ya, but it’s a generosity I clearly can’t afford anymore.” Tai knew it was coming, even before he finished. Still, when the words were spoken aloud, they hurt as efficiently as knives digging into his back. “So, as of today, I’m letting you go.”

He knew he’d been a wreck lately. He knew he’d been underperforming – in all aspects of his life, really. He _knew_ it. So, Tai had no idea what possessed him to suddenly open his mouth and argue with a man he’d honestly grown to respect over the many years he’d worked for him. “Come on Lenny, you can’t do this to me! I got two girls to raise.”

The other man nearly bit through the filter of his smoke. “Look, I feel for you. I do. But I got a business to run. And your negligence today just cost me thousands of lien!”

“Then let me cover the damages! I’ll- I’ll work overtime!” Tai said, placing his hands on the desk as if offering to have them chained to it. “Come on Len, please!”

“So you can just screw up even more?! No.” He turned away, shaking his head before facing him once more. “My mind’s made up. You’re outta here Tai.”

He swallowed down what felt like a vat of acid, turning his gaze down to stare at the worn, smoke-discolored shag carpeting instead. When it started to blur he shut his eyes, having to use the last vestiges of his willpower to keep his composure. It seemed to take all his strength to finally stand and he didn’t entirely remember his boss leading him out the front door. Faintly, he felt the hand on his back, but the kind advice to take some time to get himself back together and get back out there when he was more himself fell on deaf ears.

After that, Tai just started walking, aimless and lost.

* * *

Eventually, Qrow found him.

He knew it was him from the way a flapping turned into the sound of footsteps crunching over the wilting autumn grass. “Hey.” Despite the fact he gave no reply or invitation, the other still sat down in the dirt next to him. “Called the shop. Puff the Dragon said you don’t work there anymore.”

Tai shifted his head up from his knees, neck feeling stiff from being in the same position for so long, just enough so he could stare at his wife’s grave.

Beside him, Qrow kept talking. “It’s going to be alright. There are other jobs, man.”

‘Alright’, huh? It was so funny, he could have laughed. He allowed his legs to fall into a crossed position, murmuring, “You know how many times I told myself that? How many times I kept saying ‘It’s going to get better’. How many times?”

“I-”

Tai cut him off with a shout, hitting the ground with his fist. “A whole damn lot!” He swiveled to face him, seeing the way Qrow jerked back some, red eyes wide. “But you know what?! It’s **_not_** getting better! Everything hurts just as much as it ever did!” His voice cracked on his yell. “It’s been six months! Nothing’s better! Nothing’s ever going to be better, because Summer’s never coming back! And I-” His breath hitched, and he turned away, covering half his face with his hand, fingers pulling at his bangs. “I can’t do this anymore Qrow. I don’t want to!”

It felt like everything was crashing over him at once and just like the car he’d unintentionally wrecked, he felt like his life and lack of control in it was doing the same. Each disappointment he had to give to his family and friends when he couldn’t be the man he knew he used to be. Hurt that built and built without end. Heavy thoughts constantly filled with nothing but anger, and despair, and sorrow.

He choked on his sobs, feeling lower than he’d ever thought possible as he admitted, “I’ve been sitting here just _wishing_ I didn’t have daughters, so I could just throw myself over this damn cliff and be done with it!” He bent over himself, wailing, “ _How awful is that!?_ I’ve got to be the worst father ever!”

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.” The word came out like a mantra, his brother moving to crouch in front of him, grasping too tightly onto his arms, but it did its job to make Tai look up at him. It was surreal, realizing Qrow looked _scared_. “Come on Tai, you know that’s not true. Those girls are lucky to have you.”

“What’s lucky? I can barely keep it together anymore.”

He shook him a bit, as if hoping to shake out all the bad thoughts with the motion. “But you’re still here. Still trying. And if you don’t think that counts for anything, then damn, I guess those blond hairs of yours must really be taking root in your brain.”

It was old joke, but it managed to crack a smile, a watery laugh escaping him. And then his head fell against Qrow’s collarbone and Tai started to cry. A hand found its way to his back, rubbing soothing circles as he lost himself to his grief.

* * *

“I get it, you know?”

Tai lifted his eyes slowly from the thick undergrowth, orange light from the fading sun speckling across fallen leaves and broken twigs. “Huh?”

A few paces ahead of him, Qrow ducked under a low-hanging branch, pulling out his flask from his jacket pocket. He ran his fingers along the cap, not opening it. Yet. “I lost her too.” He continued, tone heartbreakingly fragile. “It hurts. Every goddamned day.” A sharp breath, a shake of his head as he composed himself. “So. I get it. Feeling hurt all the time, and wanting to make it stop but not knowing how.”

Tai turned his eyes back to the ground, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Tried not to feel terrible over how little he’d been there for his best friend. It wasn’t like he didn’t know. Between the insomnia and occasional black-out levels of drinking, there was little to guess at just how much he too was struggling.

“Some days, I’m not proud of myself.” Qrow said, finally taking a swig. “Most days, really.”

“Qrow…”

He continued on like he hadn’t heard the poor attempt at intervention. “I’m trying my best to be here for you. And well, ‘trying my best’ mainly means not having that eighth shot of whiskey.” He stepped over a tree root, chuckling bitterly. “Heh. When I think about it, I guess it’s kind of a poor way to pay you back, huh?”

Tai almost tripped over the same tree root. “What are you talking about?”

He didn’t answer right away, instead just screwing and unscrewing the cap like a nervous tick. “I… I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and Sums. You know that, right? I mean-” He waved out his hands, the liquid in the flask sloshing noisily. “You two changed everything. Although, with your combined levels of disgusting optimism and annoying persistence, probably not even the devil himself would have stood a chance.”

“I think you’re giving us more credit than we deserve.” Tai said, shaking his head. “You made those choices to change Qrow.”

“You think I would of made them, had I been paired with anyone else except the sunshine twins?”

He held back a snort, surprised he still had anything left in him to feel humored. “Anything’s possible.”

“Yeah well. Glad I never have to find out.” Qrow put away his flask, tacking on thoughtfully, “’Specially just glad to have a real family, even if it’s a little broken right now.”

Tai stared at his brother’s back, the ferocity in which he ignored the ever-present roiling of anxiety in his gut given more effort than he’d managed to find in a long time now. If he let it win now, he’d either end up crying again or drowning in guilt. “ _I’m_ the one who’s glad.” He looked past him, seeing the top of his roof poking between the trees. “You know, back when we first met, I used to think being a team with you and Raven was impossible. I actually kinda hated you.”

“Really.” The tone was sarcastic. “I never would have guessed, what with the skirt prank and all.”

Though it was weak, he managed a smile. “You looked good at least, right?”

“Bitch, I was fabulous.” He said sassily, putting a hand on his hip like a true diva.

Tai bit his bottom lip, holding in his laughter. This was what he got for introducing Qrow to the movie theater. “Point is, I can’t imagine things being different now. I’m beyond grateful that you’re here.”

“Ah! Careful now,” He threw a smirk over his shoulder. “Beam any harder, and I’ll get sunburned.”

He punched his arm. “Ha. Ha. Hilarious.”

While the dragging feeling continued to pull at him, just waiting for the right moment to yank him off his feet, Tai allowed himself some solace to enjoy the normalcy, if only for a moment.

* * *

A long, emotional disaster of a day wasn’t exactly a great combination with young toddlers buzzing with more energy than a thousand-watt bulb. Qrow did his best to keep them out of the kitchen while Tai made some semblance of dinner. For them, it resulted in slightly overcooked instant noodles with half a boiled egg from the stash he’d made when he’d been feeling better; for the girls, warm milk and cheese sandwiches.

He did his best to eat, knowing the girls might imitate him if he didn’t, but between watching Ruby to make sure she didn’t choke on the little bites of bread he’d cut into small slivers and just not feeling hungry, he spent more time stirring it as it grew cold.

“Dad?”

“Hm?” He glanced to his other daughter, who using her uncle’s ramen broth as a dipping sauce. Or a decoration, since droplets were pattered all over the tabletop from his bowl to her plate. He sighed at the sight.

“Are you turning off like the TB again?” Yang asked. “’Cause I can get the ‘mote if you need it.”

Tai arched an eyebrow, glancing questioningly to his brother.

Qrow made a wordless noise that sounded like ‘I dunno’ before correcting, “It’s TV, Yang.”

“It’s what I said.”

Tai folded his arms across the table, leaning a bit lower to face her more on her level as he asked, “Where did you get that idea, dragon?”

“’Becca said it. She said to Uncle Qrow you looked like you were going to turn off again.” Yang said, taking a big bite of her sandwich, not really seeming to notice the way her dad was now gaping at her.

What kind of conversations were they having when he wasn’t home?!

“Oooh.” Qrow nodded in sudden understanding. “No Yang, she said your dad was ‘shutting down’.”

“Isn’t that the same?” She said around her food.

“Uh, not exactly. Swallow before talking, please.”

Tai frowned, unsure what to say. A happy chanting of ‘Milk, milk!’ and the scraping of a cup across the high chair drew his attention back to Ruby and he helped her take a few sips.

He was kind of glad he wasn’t the one drinking when Yang said, “So the remote won’t turn daddy back on?” Because he may have choked.

“Not in the way you’re thinking.” Her uncle mumbled under his breath, picking up his shot glass.

“ _Qrow!_ ” He hissed. The other just grinned cheekily, drowning it in alcohol. Tai sighed, turning back to his younger daughter, but saying to his elder, “I’m afraid it doesn’t work quite like that, Yang.”

“Why not?”

“You remember that time you scrapped your knee on the stairs and we had to put bandages on it?” He asked.

She nodded, lips puckering sourly at the memory. “Yeah. It hurt. You wouldn’t let me play as much for a long time.”

“Right. Do you also remember how you kept trying to touch it and we told you not to because it had to heal? And how it took a really long time before it was finally gone?”

“Yeah.”

Beyond both of them, Qrow silently got to his feet and sauntered over to the counter to pour himself another drink.

Tai smiled at her as best he could. It felt ironic to be having a version of this conversation for the second time today. “Well, I have an owie like that, but I can’t put rainbow bandages on it like I did for your leg, because no one can see it. It’s on the inside of me. And I’m a lot like you dragon, I keep poking it.”

She pat her hands down on the table. “Well why are you doing that? It’s bad!”

“I know.” He conceded. “I’m trying my best not to. But, just like with your knee, my owie is taking a long time to heal. And that’s why, sometimes, I’m not up to playing or being my usual self.”

Yang frowned, looking up at him in a very serious way. “Will it ever get better?”

_Gods_ , he hoped so. Tai reached across the table, carding his fingers through her bangs. “Of course, little dragon. It just needs more time. Okay?”

She considered for a long moment, before nodding once. “Okay.”

As he went back to feeding Ruby, he held onto an unspoken promise to himself that one day he’d be able to keep his word to her.

* * *

The stairs creaked underfoot as Tai made his way down them. It had taken a bit longer to put the girls’ down for the night and his throat hurt from having to do so much of the ‘scary wolf’ voice after having to embellish the tale. He paused on the first landing, looking across the living room. It was lit only by the TV, the luminosity changing with the scenes playing out on the screen. The occupant meant to be watching it must have gotten bored, because he was sprawled across the couch, his slight snores signaling the insomniac spell was finally over.

Tai descended the rest of the steps, crossing over with care and pulling the throw off the back of the couch and tucking it around his brother. “G’night Qrow.” He whispered, picking up the empty glass on the table and taking it in the kitchen, where he left it to soak with the rest of the dishes that could wait until tomorrow. He shut off the TV on his way back out, using his memory to guide him back up to the second floor.

He flicked on the lights to his bedroom, leaving the door open only a crack so he could hear the girls if they woke up, before heading to the bathroom, tossing his shirt on the floor on his way in. He briefly considered a shower, before deciding it could wait until tomorrow and compromising with only brushing his teeth tonight. He started to reach for his toothbrush, only to pause and slowly draw back. The sight of it in the container all alone stung his heart, remembering it was only this morning that he’d hidden Summer’s away.

Tai stood there, that same anxiety knotting his gut. As he timed his breathes, the tight feeling slowly loosened, and then he left the room, throwing open his closet door. He knelt down, finding an old shoebox shoved in the corner. He spilled out the contents all over the floor, mostly old mementos from school, before heading back to the bathroom.

The first thing to go was the toothbrush. Then her perfumes and make-up. Razors, lotions and shampoo found its way in next. After that, it was things they’d shared. Especially the porcelain toothbrush holder. He filled the box until it was overflowing, and, in a moment of hysteria, considered just yanking open the window and chucking it all out at once.

The idea passed quickly, and instead Tai found himself back in his room, crouching on the floor as he shoved the whole thing as far under the bed as he could reach. Once completed, he settled back on his haunches, unsure if this was what moving on really looked like or if he was just putting his bandages in the wrong places.

It took him several minutes before he found it in him to stand again. He stepped back into the bathroom, brushed his teeth and then headed to bed, turning off the lights as he did. He slipped under the covers, kicking down the frantic thoughts of all the things that would need to get done tomorrow now that he had no job to wake up for. But doing so only made the night’s stillness, an oddity now when he’d grown so accustomed to having another person in his room since attending the academy, more prominent.

Until it seemed like the silence was the loudest thing in the world.

Tai curled on his side, thinking of Ruby and Yang just one door down. Of Qrow, slumbering downstairs. Swept away the burn in the corner of his eyes and reminded himself he wasn’t alone.

That, as long as he kept putting one foot in front of the other, he never would be. That there would always be people in his life that loved him and needed him. People worth taking that step for.

Drifted off, realizing just a little bit of his pain was finally gone and that maybe, just maybe, things really could get better after all.


End file.
